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The French Army Knife

The French army knife first and foremost is a joke, and second most an excellent cork screw, and thirdly a pocket knife, but what it really ultimately combines to become is a brilliant opportunity to have fun.

Fun is good for you, this French Army knife is a perfect balance of use and fun that we know you will find to be indispensable in your daily life.

The French Army Knife is recommended for children over 15 years of age and for adults with an IQ of at least 75. We also recommended that you do not carry your French Army Knife into schools, airports or government buildings.

Everywhere else, it is brilliant! Oui! (that means yes.) You should have one, of the first, and be one of the first. The Vanguard so to speak of a new movement of being prepared for fun. The French Army Knife is a key tool in being so prepared!

Our Forever Guarantee We will guarantee each of our knives forever, Oui. You break it, send it to us and we will replace it, it’s as simple as that. What more do you want, a fucking bottle of wine? Get that yourself Bastard’! Merde!